My whole life, I’ve struggled with perfectionism. I’ve been my own worst critic, and my greatest fear has been failing to live up to the impossible standards I set for myself. My perfectionism started as a need for validation from others, but it grew into a fear of disappointing those around me and an obsession with everything I felt I did wrong or failed to achieve. My fear and obsession drove me to be better, but they also denied me joy.
Struggling with perfectionism can be just as real for teams. How can we set high standards for ourselves, pursue ambitious goals, yet still avoid the dreaded zero-defects environment?
Teams are made up of humans, and human perfection is unattainable. People make mistakes. People fail. Bad things happen to good teams. However, within the right environment and positive leadership, teams can thrive despite their imperfections.
My friend Corie Weathers defines this space wherein teams can thrive as the Messy Middle. The first time I heard her talk about it, it resonated deeply with me, and I immediately saw its relevance — not just for myself, but for the teams I work with. I’ve borrowed the concept from her and adapted it in my own way.
What is the Messy Middle?
We should have a vision of what our ideal environment looks like — in our lives, within our teams, and in our relationships with clients and customers. We should also define the behaviors and levels of performance that are unacceptable. The Messy Middle is where we should expect to live — somewhere between the unacceptable and the unattainable.
The key to thriving in the Messy Middle is maintaining our aspiration to achieve the unattainable (perfection) while also showing ourselves and our teams the grace to accept imperfections — as long as we do no trend toward what is unacceptable. Growth happens when we recognize where we fall short, learn from the experience, and move forward.
One may reasonably question if the Messy Middle is too “soft.” Might the Messy Middle imply weak standards and low expectations? Couldn’t it lead to lower productivity and less success?
Quite the contrary, actually.
Trust is built in the Messy Middle
Growth happens in the Messy Middle, a space that fosters the psychological safety required for team members to take initiative and to pursue opportunities ; such initiative and pursuit are impossible within an environment ruled by an outsized fear of failure. When team members know their boss and colleagues will support them when they make an honest mistake — and will give them the opportunity to improve — productivity and success accelerate.
We win as long as we stay anchored to our values, uphold our standards for performance and behavior, and keep ourselves and our teammates accountable. Apathy cannot win: We cannot hover just above the red line and call that “good enough.”
Living in the Messy Middle makes the team stronger by expecting failure. If you never fail, how do you know what your limits are? And when you do fail , dust yourself off, lean on your values, figure out how to do it better, and keep going. Personally, I’ve never learned anything from an easy win.
The Messy Middle requires us to never be satisfied with where we are while also showing ourselves and others grace and compassion when we fall short.
Living and Leading in the Messy Middle was originally published in Horizon Performance on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
