Scar Seeking

Several years ago, our youngest son took a hard fall at school while climbing a stage ladder before drama practice. As he tumbled, his upper arm caught an empty fire extinguisher bracket, leaving a deep and nasty cut running the length of his inner arm.

I rushed to meet him and his mother at the emergency room, and as I walked in, I was met with a familiar look — fear and uncertainty. Like most kids, his first question to me was, “Is this going to hurt?” I gave him the most honest answer I could:

“It sure won’t hurt any more than ripping it open. Now they’re just going to sew you up and make you good as new.”

I’m not sure my words comforted him, but what did change everything was the attending physician’s unexpected remark:

“You’re going to have the coolest scar of any of your friends!”

In an instant, his fear transformed into fascination. “For real?” he asked, his frown flipping into a wide grin.

Why Do Scars Stop Being Cool?

As children, scars are badges of honor — evidence of adventure, courage, and survival. But somewhere along the way, we stop seeing them that way. As we grow older, scars become something to hide, reminders of pain, mistakes, or moments we’d rather forget.

Yet J. Oswald Sanders, in Spiritual Leadership, reminds us:

“Scars are the authenticating marks of faithful discipleship and true spiritual leadership.”

Scars — whether physical, emotional, or psychological — are proof that we’ve been tested, that we’ve stepped into the arena, and that we’ve engaged in the fight. Great leaders don’t just acquire scars; they embrace them as the signposts of their leadership journey.

Where the Light Shines Through

The longer we lead, the more scars we accumulate — failures, rejections, tough decisions, and sleepless nights spent questioning if they did the right thing. These wounds are painful, but they are also necessary. They shape us. They grow us. They transform us.

In their song Where the Light Shines Through, the band Switchfoot captures this truth beautifully:

“Cause your scars shine like a dark star,
Yeah, your wounds are where the light shines through.
So let’s go there, to that place where
We sing these broken prayers where the light shines through.
The wound is where the light shines through.”

Too often, leaders try to project invincibility, believing that showing weakness undermines their authority. But the most inspiring leaders aren’t the ones without scars; they are the ones who openly share the wisdom gained from them. Scars don’t diminish our credibility; they authenticate it.

And it’s those imperfections that allow us to shine — first by enabling us to recognize another soul in need and second by empowering us to take action. The wound is where the light shines through.

So as we step into 2025, expect a fall or two. But remember — just like Colt in the ER — sometimes all it takes is a shift in perspective to turn fear into strength. Get to scar seeking.

After all, your scars tell a story. Wear them well.

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Scar Seeking was originally published in Horizon Performance on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.