Stressed or Stretched?: Why “Good Stress” Makes Us Better Leaders

I’ve noticed something lately. Everywhere I turn, people are talking about anxiety — how it shows up in our lives, how to manage it, and how important it is to take care of ourselves. That’s a good thing. A decade ago, many of us wouldn’t have admitted to struggling with anxiety, let alone sought therapy, talked about mental health at work, or embraced the practices of self-care.

At the same time, I can’t ignore the other side of the conversation. We live in the most comfortable period in human history. Most of our daily inconveniences — traffic jams, Wi-Fi hiccups, long lines — don’t hold a candle to the hardships past generations faced. Yet, with all this comfort, we risk losing something important: our edge. The resilience that comes from facing real challenge.

So how do we reconcile these two truths? That we should be mindful of anxiety while also resisting the trap of comfort?

For me, the answer has been learning to embrace what I call “good stress.”

Good stress isn’t the kind that keeps you awake at night or makes your chest tight. It’s the kind that stretches you in a healthy way. It’s signing up for the race you’re not quite ready for, taking on the project that feels just a little above your pay grade, or having the tough conversation you’ve been avoiding. Good stress challenges us without breaking us — and in the process, it makes us stronger.

Here’s the irony: leaning into good stress actually equips us to handle the bad stress when it inevitably comes. Life will always throw curveballs — illness, setbacks, disappointments — but the more we’ve trained ourselves to take on hard things voluntarily, the better prepared we are to manage the things we don’t choose.

And this matters deeply in leadership. I’ve seen it firsthand in my own life and in the teams I’ve led: better people make better leaders. When I push myself through discomfort, I build resilience. And when I model that resilience for my team, I give them permission to embrace challenge too.

The best teams I’ve been a part of had leaders who walked this balance: they cared deeply about our well-being, but they also held the bar high. They didn’t let us settle into comfort zones. They pushed us — sometimes harder than we thought we could handle — but always with an eye on the load. That balance created trust. It created growth. It created results.

So here’s my takeaway: don’t run from anxiety, and don’t hide in comfort. Instead, lean into the good stress. Do the hard things that make you a stronger, healthier version of yourself. And if you’re leading others, build a culture where the same principle applies — high standards, with a careful eye on the load.

Because in the end, better people really do make better leaders. And better leaders create better teams.

Stressed or Stretched?: Why “Good Stress” Makes Us Better Leaders was originally published in Horizon Performance on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.