Of Steve Kerr and “I Don’t Know”

On April 17 of this year, Steve Kerr said, “I don’t know,” and I’m still thinking about those three words six weeks later.

Maybe because of who said those words — Kerr is one of the more successful NBA coaches of the modern era, making six Finals appearances and winning four titles since he began his head coaching career in 2014.

Maybe because of when he said them — during and after Golden State’s last game of the season, a very emotional time, when the Warriors were ousted from the playoffs by the Phoenix Suns.

Maybe because of why he said them — Kerr was addressing his future as the Warriors’ head coach, the only coaching position he’s ever held at any level.

According to Sports Illustrated, with about a minute left in Golden State’s final game, Kerr huddled on the sideline with Steph Curry and Draymond Green, the Warriors’ two long-time superstars. The coach said to the players, “I don’t know what’s gonna happen next, but I love you guys to death.”

According to ESPN, at the post-game press conference, when Kerr was asked if he’d be back with the Warriors the following season, he said “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I still love coaching, but I get it: These jobs all have an expiration date. There is a run that happens, and when the run ends, sometimes it’s time for new blood and new ideas.”

“I don’t know…”

So refreshing to hear.

And so hard to say.

Why?

Pick a reason: pride, insecurity (pride), ignorance…

Okay, the above is a misleading statement. There’s only one reason.

Leaders don’t say “I don’t know” because…we don’t want others to think that we don’t know.

Because (in our pride) we think not knowing is not okay.

Now, to be fair, if you walk around not knowing anything, people are not going to follow you; people need leaders of competence.

Conversely, if you walk around knowing everything, people are not going to follow you; people need leaders of character.

Consider this: Leaders earn their keep by figuring out “stuff” (people, problems, projects, situations, etc.) Implied in figuring out is learning. Implied in learning is growth of knowledge.

And if our knowledge can grow, then our knowledge is not complete. And if our knowledge is not complete, then we don’t know everything.

That fact should not make us anxious but rather make us exhale.

The (liberating) thing is, everybody already knows leaders don’t know everything…because leaders are human. So act like that: human. Don’t act like an impervious-to-imperfection robot. Instead, leaders, rest in the fact, that — in this way — we’re just like the rest of the world…

…we don’t know everything because we can’t know everything. Some things are simply…beyond us. Beyond our vision. Beyond our capacity. Beyond our understanding.

Be okay with that, with the not knowing. Because not knowing compels us to recognize our need — not for answers but rather for others. For family. For team. For community.

Read Kerr’s quotes again; note his recognition.

One single word can act as the counterbalance for all the “I don’t know…” in a leader’s life.

Love.

Kerr was okay with not knowing because he could lean on love. “I don’t know…(but) I still love to coach.” And “I don’t know…but I love you guys to death.”

The same can be, should be, true for us. When we love our pursuit and — more importantly — our people, not knowing everything is not a problem.

In fact, when love truly is the relational currency in our families, teams, and organizations, “I don’t know,” becomes more than refreshing honesty.

It becomes an enticing appetizer, preparing the palates of those around you for this full-course meal:

“Let’s find out!”

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Of Steve Kerr and “I Don’t Know” was originally published in Horizon Performance on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.